Vanna.

To me I feel like there is no such thing as perfect happiness the idea of happiness goesgenerally in regards to each person. My ideal happiness to describe it to someone else what ideal happiness would be is live in life doing things that make you happy there and don't contain stressors or sad moments. Now if our to say what would be happiness for me being able to live freely being able to be proud To be successful have something to show for all of the things that I've done in my life to have a family that will love me unconditionally to be not only financially stable but wealthy emotionally mentally and so much more that to me is an ideal happiness not having to worry about tomorrow stressors or tomorrow's worries or the hate that I might have to get does being able to live peacefully and happily with my family friends.

  Am I not Black enough to be your Queen ? Hair not straight enough to fit your dream. Or am I a victim of unjust tragedies, followed by fallacies and ideology of legacies that were taken from me? Are my people not the beginning? Or was it the people who pummeled the man, who took from the land and raped our spirits. Am I not your Queen? Hair curly enough to hold all my dreams. Eyes big enough to see everything. Skin bronze enough to pass for anything. When they took our wombs, tombs and teachings was it everything they were looking for but without bleaching. Was our knowledge such a secret that they had to keep it and turn around to delete it. And I ask.. Am I not your Queen? Yet my brother’s who love other's, forgot to love themselves. Put their “blackness” on a shelf and discuss black women like they didn't come from one themselves. What will you teach our daughters when they explore the waters and ask you “Am I not your Queen?”

  January 12, 2011   It's cold  That all thats on my mind I try my hardest to bundle up but theres no place to hide It hurts... you know the cold I tried and tried but this game is getting old As I look at the trees I remember when the days were sunny and bright Now dark and cold; Where is the light? What happened to the warmth? When the sun showered my face with kisses? When i laughed about the leaves falling with swiftness Why is it cold? When the sun shined so bright just yesterday It bloomed flowers and the cold was so far away Why does it hurt?  ...you kno the cold The cold of my heart to be untold He was my sun but like night he just vanished  This is why I'm cold? Because the sun wanted to leave? What about the flowers, leaves, and the trees? What about the love; you and me? It's Cold...

  August 30, 2017   He was everything I could imagine but he wasn’t my equal. We were just two people desperate for love, desperate for touch but not destined for us. A gesture of love was never enough for something that was nev w⁰sas er meant to be. Yeah it was just “you and me” but when “We” became “Us” and Us became “They” the idea of “Us” faded away. It was everything that I could imagine. Trees and Tress. Among beautiful things as we basked by the sea. Unbeknownst to me “we” was not a thing.... The theory of “US” seems so distant. If you were consistent I wouldn’t have to question your trust. I wouldn’t have to ask myself why am I not enough. I wouldn’t be out here on a quest of love, If there was no question of us... Am I not admired by those who pass me? Does my love not cover you and basking? Can you feel my love without asking? But it wasn’t enough… Yet I still ask myself “Why do fools fall in love?” That fools choice of drug is love… OD

  October 28, 2010     In the event of death tears fall and sobs grow With the underlying event of no tomorrow No hope, no cope, no shoulders Just boulders and boulders of hurt Anguish and pain I cry for my pain And yet I rejoice after my sorrow But the way my heart hurts I want to crawl back to my burrow I want a friend to listen not to judge I want a friend who feels the way I does; But there's only me, my pain, and my hurt My agony is Indescribable My pain is named un-relinquished I just asked for my pain to be washed away I just asked for a new day A different hurt, one that doesn't hurt That doesn't cause pain I am here in a river of flowing pain Maybe a dam will form and clot my hurt Spot the bleeding bandage, and I will stand healed and a little scarred but I don't want this pain you can have it, you can heal me I beg of you to help But i get people that keep walking a way from me... Give me your happiness And take my pain Take away from the hurt I've gained...